


Darkness Grows Closer

by keepmecoffeedup



Category: Phandom/The Fantastic Foursome (YouTube RPF)
Genre: Additional Warnings In Author's Note, Alternate Universe - High School, Angst, Depression, Gen, Implied/Referenced Alcohol Abuse/Alcoholism, Self-Harm, Slow Build
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2016-10-12
Updated: 2016-11-02
Packaged: 2018-08-22 01:56:28
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 4
Words: 2,992
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/8268382
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/keepmecoffeedup/pseuds/keepmecoffeedup
Summary: Dan takes an interest in the new boy with blue eyes, but can he discover what Phil's secret is before Phil finds out his? I could feel the weight on my arms, as if it was dragging me further and further into darkness. I was fighting everything within me. I didn’t want to go back into that pit of spiralling depression but I couldn’t find a way to get out of it.





	1. Authors Note

Hello, just a quick note from the author of the story before we get to the good stuff.

 

This was a story originally written on fanfiction.net under the same story title. The story on here, however, is a very different version. For starters, it is written in the third person. I used to be so unsure how to write in that way but the further I get into the story again, the more I realise I want to write in third. This is all my story, I’ve just decided to move it over from fanfiction.net because I don’t use that website as much and also because I wanted to rewrite it and try to make it better. There are a lot of triggers in this story and I've included a couple of them in the tags but detailed warnings will be at the end of each chapter so that I don’t spoil too much for readers.

I hope you enjoy the story. It was my first story so I hope this re-edit of the story is worth it!

 

N/B The characters used in this story are fictional and have no correlation to the actual people they concern.


	2. A New Boy

Dan was lying in his bed, contemplating on whether or not he should get up any time soon. He didn’t particularly like school, he couldn’t think of a reason why anyone would, but he specifically hated Wednesday’s more than anything. It began with school, in which he had to face his less than lovely maths teacher, Miss Blood, and ended with the god forbidden ‘family time’. His mother had come up with the idea to bring everyone closer, but Dan couldn’t think of anything he hated more. Dan was suddenly knocked out of his thoughts as he heard the front door slam shut, indicating his mother had left for work. Hr begrudgingly turned to look at his clock. The time read 7:30. His mum always left early for work in order to make time to drop his younger sister off at school. Dan never complained about this arrangement as it meant he had the house to himself to get ready, and sleep a bit longer. Just before 8, Dan dragged himself out of bed and began his very rushed morning routine. Once showered and dressed, he ran down the stairs with his bag on his back and a cereal bar in hand, making his way out the door with just enough time to get to school.

It was 8:38 as Dan walked through the school gates giving him exactly two minutes to get to his form for registration. A teacher stood on the path leading into the main building greeting people and telling them to hurry up. Without looking up, Dan made his way to his form and sat in his usual seat at the back of the room. He still had his headphones in listening to a particularly good Muse song when the teacher walked in and started the register. His form tutor was always very enthusiastic and Dan often wondered how someone could be so lively at such an early hour. Once the register had been signed the usual dull chatter erupted around the room and Dan went back to looking through his music.

His thoughts were interrupted by the sound of the classroom door opening. The head teacher, Mr Kettigan, walked through the door, followed shortly by a strange boy. As Mr Kettigan continued talking to the teacher, Dan took time to observe the stranger, now stood awkwardly by the door as though unsure of his place in the classroom. He noticed that the boy had jet black hair and quite blue eyes, his features were quite sharp yet soft at the same time. Before Dan had time to try and figure anything more about the boy Mr Kettigan spoke.

‘Apologies for interrupting your form group Mr Wilks. I am here to introduce the newest member of our school, Phil Lester. I am sure you will all try hard to make him feel welcome and to show him just how great our school is.’ A few snickers could be heard around the classroom as the head left the room.

Phil remained standing by the door as Mr Wilks addressed him. ‘Well Phil, I won’t embarrass you by making you introduce yourself to the whole class.’ Dan noticed Phil show a silent sigh of relief. ‘Find yourself a seat and I’ll get you a day book.’

Phil looked around the room and saw that there was only one free seat, right next to a boy with longish brown hair. He made his way to the seat cautiously as not to trip over anything, knowing him that could easily be a situation he would get himself into. The lively chatter started up around the room once again as Phil took his seat, preying eyes finally off him. He began to fiddle with the buttons on his new blazer, praying that the boy sitting next to him wouldn’t start a conversation. He always knew how those kind of conversations went. More like interrogations. He would be the gossip of the school and he certainly didn’t want any rumours spreading about himself. He’d had enough of those in his last school and he was willing to do anything for his history to not be the talk of this new school.

Unfortunately Phil wasn’t going to be so lucky as the boy next to him opened his mouth to speak.

‘Hey, I’m Dan’

‘Hi, Phil, but you already knew that.’ Phil responded quietly. He looked up from the table and briefly met the boys-Dan’s- eyes. He could feel them staring into his soul as though trying to read an invisible biography in his own eyes. Phil shifted uncomfortably in his seat and looked down, returning to fiddle with his blazer button.

_Only 6 more hours and then I can leave_ Phil thought.

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> NO WARNINGS Just a bit of setting up for the story. I will post a new update at some point during the week as it takes a while to rewrite the chapters and I have other responsibilities. I know for certain there are 10 so far but after that I'm not sure how long this fic will be.


	3. a place to be called home(?)

Phil was sat in his last lesson of the day staring at the clock. As the hands ticked closer to his freedom he began to reminisce on the day. It had been fairly uneventful. Though he hadn’t made any new friends, he’s just relieved that he was able to avoid attracting too much attention from anyone. His thoughts drifted over to the boy, Dan he thinks, sat next to him in form earlier that morning. He’d seen him around school during the day but hadn’t spoken to him since form. Phil thought about the idea of making friends, it would be nice to not be completely alone in this school. He quickly removed the thought from his mind however, his aim was to go unnoticed for the next year and a half during GCSE’s, unnecessary friendships were to be avoided at all cost.

The bell sounded and the classroom burst to life with students packing away their things. Phil ran out the room faintly hearing the teacher try to give homework instructions out. He would find out about it eventually. For now, he had to get home. He knew that Dad was back, he was crashed out on the sofa when Phil left for school that morning. By any luck, he would still be on the sofa passed out, hopefully a little sober too. Living with his dad was like walking on eggshells. It was never known when the man would be in a good mood and one wrong move from Phil would cause a volcano of rage. Phil could see his house in the distance, only 5 more minutes. The house held a plethora of memories, good and bad, however recently there has been an abundance of good.

When Phil reached the red front door he tentatively unlocked it and made his way inside as to not make any noise. A quick peak into the front room confirmed his earlier wishes as he saw his dad passed out on the sofa, an abandoned bottle by his foot. Phil made his way upstairs to his room, the only haven in the house, then back downstairs to make a start on clearing the kitchen. If you’d never been to the house before, you would think a bomb had gone off. Phil wondered just how it managed to get so messy, especially as his dad hated the mess. The sides were littered with opened packets of food, dirty dishes, beer bottles and – wait, it wasn’t was it – yep, Phil looked, there was definitely sick on the floor. His dad must have woken up at some point during the day. Reaching under the kitchen cabinet Phil grabbed the bleach and began cleaning up the kitchen as quietly as possible. After an hour of back breaking work, the room almost looked like a loved home kitchen.

The peace was broken by groans making their way from the front room.

‘phiiiiiil??’

Phil looked uncertain, his response would determine the mood his Dad would be in for the night. ‘Yes dad?’

After a moment he heard, ‘what are you doing?’

‘Just clearing up’ phil replied, ‘you okay in there? Need anything?’ Phil could hear his dad moving around. Eventually he came into the kitchen.

‘yeah, pass us the paracetamol and a glass of water would you. My head is fucking killing.’ He looked around the room. ‘J’eez, it’s like a hospital in here it’s so clean.’

 ‘yeah’ Phil chuckled nervously still unsure of his dad’s mood. ‘so what do you want for dinner?’

‘oh im not eating. Going out with dave later. Take some money out the pot and get yourself something.’ And with that his Dad made his way back to the front room.

Phil wasn’t going to deny the opportunity to get out the house for a few hours. He ran upstairs to get changed pulling on his Gengar t-shirt and jeans. Just as he was about the run downstairs he caught a glimpse of his arms in the mirror. _‘Shit, almost forgot my jacket’_ Phil thought. _If dad saw that he’d flip out big time’._ He grabbed his jacket and the tenner his dad had left on the side and left the house still undecided on what to eat.

* * *

The front door opened and an excited girl with long brown hair ran inside followed closely by a less excited tall boy with matching hair, though shorter. Dan rolled his eyes at his sister’s enthusiasm gained from school. ‘Claire, please calm down. I really don’t know how you can be so excited after a day at school. I’ll be in my room if you need anything.’ He said, walking up the stairs.

‘okay danny’ she sang back.

Dan laughed at the nickname. He dropped his bag and shut the bedroom door, slumping on the bed as he thought about the day. As school days go, it wasn’t so bad, he had managed to avoid the idiots in his school. His thoughts landed on the only really interesting thing of the day, the blue eyed boy in his form group. _Why would that be so interesting?_ Dan shook his head and turned to his phone, hooking it up to the speakers and pressing play on Muse: Symmetry. He closed his eyes and began to focus on the words to the song rather than the words swirling around in his head. _New boy, forgotten homework –_ Dan turned the music up louder – _detention, bullies –_ the music went louder – _fag, scars._ The music was now so loud that Dan didn’t notice how late it was or his mum walking into the room.

‘DAN! WOULD YOU TURN THAT RACKET DOWN!’

Dan jumped up, quickly turning the music down. ‘Well, hello to you too mother.’

‘yea yeah, I’d be more polite if you didn’t have that noise booming around the house.’ Jenny replied.

‘oh, you just can’t appreciate great art.’

‘art?! Whatever Dan’ she laughed, ‘anyway, dinner will be ready soon, will you come down and help?’

‘yeah sure,’ Dan replied.  Jenny turned around and went back downstairs. As soon as Dan could no longer hear her upstairs he called out to his sister. ‘CLAIRE!!’

After a brief moment she skipped into his room, ‘yes danny’

He put on his sweetest voice, ‘would you mind helping mum set the table?’ She frowned, ‘pleeeeeease??’ Dan begged.

‘but you always make me do it’ she moaned back.

‘pretty please? I’ll buy you that magazine you wanted??’

Claires eyes lit up at the offer, ‘okay!’ and with that she was out the room.

It was so easy to bribe an 8 year old, Dan thought, turning his music back on. He was determined to spend as little time as possible downstairs before his mum forced him to join in with family time. The god-awful time of the week where he had to endure 2 hours with his ‘Dad’, David. For the most part, Dan would say he had a happy family, but where David was concerned, he could not find peace. Family night almost always ended in an argument. He honestly didn’t know why his mum still bothered with the man and his stupid idea to gain forgiveness.

‘DANIEL, GET DOWN HERE RIGHT NOW AND STOP BRIBING YOUR SISTER!’

_Fuck sake._

 

 

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> If you could see just how different the old story is compared to the new story. So much more detail and focus on the atmosphere rather than just feelings.  
> At the minute I'm switching between each character in one chapter but when they start to have chapters together I'll probably keep it to one character per chapter.
> 
> Content Warnings: LANGUAGE, IMPLIED SELF HARM


	4. David

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Dan doesn't expect to be greeted by a familiar face when he goes downstairs.

Dan got up out of his chair and slowly began making his way downstairs. He had hoped he could remain upstairs for as long as possible to avoid family time. His feet dragged across every step. Dan wasn’t sure why his mum was so eager to get him downstairs, bribing his sister always worked and he’d end up doing the washing up after anyway. He’d made it down the stairs and as he turned the corner into the kitchen, he quite suddenly realised why his mum had told him to come down and help, though he didn’t understand. It was as though she knew it would piss him off. In the kitchen stood a tall man with straight brown hair, his appearance showed a slight resemblance to an older Dan.

‘What are you doing here?’ Dan asked shortly, a scowl making its way onto his face.

‘Dan, don’t be so rude.’ His mum replied.

Dan turned to he looking shocked, ‘excuse me, what? We haven’t even had dinner, he shouldn’t be here.’ Pointing at the man.

She sighed, ‘look, your dad is going to be having dinner here today, family time will be a bit longer that’s all.’ If Dan’s face could have dropped to the floor in shock, he was sure now would be the time. Anger began building its way up in his body.

‘No. Absolutely not.’ He said. ‘It’s hard enough pretending to even like DAVID for 2 hours a week. I’m not pretending to be a happy family and sit down for dinner too.’

David decided now would be a great time to get involved, ‘Dan, I know we don’t always see eye to eye-‘

‘DON’T SEE EYE TO EYE?! You have got to be kidding me??’ Dan half laughed, half shouted.

David looked lost, ‘Let me at least try and make things up to you??’

‘make things up to me?’ Dan laughed again, ‘you shouldn’t even have to be saying that sentence you do realise? This is your fault, not mine, you should have thought about your own family before doing what you did.’

‘Dan, that was two years ago.’ His mum pitched in.

Dan turned to look at her, ‘so you’re telling me that you forgive him for sleeping with that whore?!’

‘Daniel, do not use that language in my house.’ She rose her voice, ‘no I do not forgive him. But it would be nice to try and have a civil family again. You and your sister are his children too.’

‘I may be his child, but he is not my dad as far as I am concerned.’

‘Dan don’t say that. Yes I am hurt by what happened, but I do miss him, and I would like some help around the house and in raising you two.’ She responded turning toward David at the last point.

‘I would like to help out too,’ David spoke. Dan couldn’t believe what he was hearing. ‘I have missed so much in the last two years. I’ve missed all of you. I’ve apologised for what I did and I’m trying to change-‘

Dan cut him off once more ‘I don’t care what you think or how you feel. You clearly weren’t thinking about us when you were screwing around with whoever that lowlife bitch was.’

‘DANIEL JAMES! How dare you use that language in this house!’ Dan’s mum moved closer to him, raising her voice. ‘Get out of here, come back down when you’re ready to be civilised.’

‘Whatever.’ Dan turned around and stormed up the stairs, slamming his bedroom door on his way in. He began pacing around his room as thoughts swirled around his mind. He couldn’t believe his mum. How could she be so reasonable with that man? How could she even begin to think about letting him back in their lives, their home, after what he did? By the sounds of things, she wanted him back for good. If that was going to be the case, Dan thought, he had to get out. There was no way he could spend the whole evening with the man. A man that he had once loved, now a man he had come to loath.

Dan grabbed his phone and keys then pulled on a jacket. He couldn’t use the front door, mum would see him leaving. He looked around his room, eyes falling on the half opened window. _Well, it wouldn’t be the first time_ Dan thought. When his feet hit solid ground, he began walking. With no exact place in mind, he let his feet take him wherever, and after about half an hour, he realised he had ended up outside Starbucks. He walked in, ordered his favourite coffee and took a seat by the window.

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> oops, so this was supposed to be posted ages ago and it should also have a piece from phil's perspective but i just can't seem to make it fit.   
> i'll try to keep this story up but it's not going well so far. apologies for irregular updates now.


End file.
